Be Selfish.

Yesterday I did something I haven’t done in a long time—stayed in the house being chiefly concerned with my own profit and pleasure.

 In other words, I was selfish.

Maybe you’ve never heard that definition before. I didn’t make it up. It’s in the dictionary:

Wild, right?

 At least it was for me. Imagine being my big age, looking up the definition of selfishness (for a book btw, not even for myself), and reading that?

 Imagine realizing that you’ve spent the majority of your life trying not to be called, seen, or acting selfish…much to your own detriment.

 Many of us have spent the majority of our lives neglecting our own profit and pleasure. Most of us who have not been chiefly concerned with ourselves are women. And the majority of women struggling to prioritize themselves, much to their own detriment, are Black women.

 Historically, culturally, socially, economically… we have been so conditioned to be chiefly concerned with everyone else, to prioritize everyone else’s profit and pleasure over our own.

 It’s why we are constantly singing the ridiculous refrain, “I don’t have time to…” What we’re really saying is this:

 I don’t have time to be chiefly concerned with caring for myself physically, emotionally, and financially.

 It’s why we’re always tired.

 Always feeling weak because we need to eat.

 Always neglecting to go to the doctor or dentist (even when we have insurance!)

 Always in our feelings because we gave the best ourselves to some family member, partner, friend, or employer… and we can’t believe how we were treated in return.

 The next time you find yourself saying, “I don’t have time to…”, replace the norm with “be chiefly concerned with prioritizing myself.” Watch how much profit and pleasure you’ll experience when you’re chiefly concerned with yourself.

 Being selfish is the ultimate form of self-care.

Let Go. Be Free. Choose Less. Be Well.